Draught Is My Craft: Troubleshooting Life from the Draught Technicians Perspective

He had just turned 51.   He has 2 beautiful children.   He had recently begun to reconcile his faith after having once been deeply wounded by a church. He passed suddenly, while doing something he loved, surrounded by people who loved him. We spoke not long ago, and we said I love you.  We were in a good place.   Too soon.  Ouch.   I want to hug our Mom, and Sister, and Brother in Law, and all the Kids, and sob and curse and laugh and cry.  2500 miles away and broke, I might as well be on the moon. I love him.  I want him back.   To my friends in America, and those who loved Mike, tell your government, and your bosses, and your corporate Masters that healthcare should be a right, not a privilege, or a bargaining chip, or a source of financial ruin.  The healthcare I am privileged to enjoy in Ontario Canada is better than any I ever had in the U.S., except, barely, in the Marine Corps.  It is better, on avera...

Hello folks, BTW. SPOILER ALERT!!!!!       I'm not going to give anything away about the show, plot-wise,but I will be shattering a major premise, which made it impossible for me to continue to suspend disbelief. I will also speak on the Movie, The Martian, which does speak to major plot points, but i will provide you a warning there, first, and visual clues, which will help you skip that portion of the piece. (It's a piece of something, anyways.)      I actually began writing this in Oct of '23, but in support of the SAG/AFTRA strike, I will have delayed the release, since it speaks to television and Movie scripts, i will support my fellow writers, and sit on this a bit. Now, this is your last chance to continue to enjoy The Walking Dead. I will not take offense if you stop reading, because there is sooo much to love.        I began watching The Walking Dead in April of 2013, while I was staying with some Cousins.  I had just...

     A week or two ago, a Customer reached out to me with a product inquiry, about a CO2 gas regulator.  They wanted to know how much gas it could move.  This is, in my opinion, a pretty simple, fundamental question about any commercial-grade, Mechanical device: what sort of performance can I get out of this item?  Will it do what I need it to do?       Most technical questions are not new.  Someone has already done the math and/or the science.  Someone has the data.  Someone engineered the device to perform to a particular set of parameters[we hope].  I thought " I should just call the manufacturer, and ask.  My counterpart there will surely be able to rattle this off, by heart, or have the data readily at hand."   Buckle up.  I thought wrong, on several levels.     First, this manufacturer was somewhat recently acquired by a large conglomerate.  The informational insert, that came wit...

I came across a headline today on MSNBC/CNBC which read:  A second wave of Russians is fleeing Putin's regime. I would have thought that a Copy Editor might Suggest that: A second wave of Russians are fleeing Putin's regime.   or .... A second wave of Russians have begun  fleeing Putin's regime. Or if the confusion is over the wave or the Russians are the object, we can then make it extra tidy:  A second wave of Russians flees Putin's regime. Or old school: A second wave of Russians now  fleeing Putin's regime!  Besides, the word "Now" pops, and entices a sense of urgency.      I couldn't resist.  While I love all aspects of our Bastard language, including slang and dialect, I have to draw the line somewhere.  For me, written media, Ad Copy, and especially News Copy, should all reflect the most basic adherence to grammar.  Below, is a paste of the comment I made, via the contact portal at CNBC.com.  Let's see if...

     I have been asking the same question of beverage gas providers, for more than 10 years. I am still struggling to get a concrete answer.  The question is"How do you ensure that the Nitrogen and CO2 in a Mixed Gas Cylinder, dispense in the proper mix, when these Gasses behave so differently?"  The answers I have received, over the years, have varied widely, and inevitably, when I challenge them, or request demonstrated proof, I am ghosted....every time.        Before I delve too deeply into this Fucking Quagmire of an issue: If you are not a Draught/Draft Beer Pro, or are relatively new to Beer, you should read  INTRO TO BEER CARBONATION   before proceeding with this article. You might be able to follow most of it, without reading the article, but knowing why people wish to use beer gas, is pretty crucial. The short answer is, sometimes you need to augment pressure, but if you use pure CO2, it causes both quality and pourin...

        We don't list Carbon Dioxide [CO2] as an ingredient in our beer, but one could argue that we should.  The primary reason we don't, is because CO2 occurs in Beer, as a natural by-product of the brewing process.  The reason that some of us feel it should be included, is because modern brewing, kegging, and packaging methods cause carbonation loss.  The lost CO2 is forcibly reintroduced, during the finishing process of the beer.  If the beer is served from a keg, CO2 is also introduced, again, during dispense.  Finally, in the case of Nitrogenous beers such as Guinness, Boddington's, Old Speckled Hen, and numerous others, we also add Nitrogen gas, as way to lighten the mouth feel of these Low Carbonation Brews.  The reason I would advocate for listing gasses as ingredients, is to also show customers that only 1 or 2 gasses are supposed to be there, and lends credibility to quality advocates.  These Gasses effect flavour and pr...

          I hate the word "tap." And I get it; people aren't going to change. It's the word they have always used. That does not mean that I am going to stop fighting. Just because people keep doing it, doesn't make it okay. Examples: racism, spousal abuse, child abuse, slavery, sex trafficking, murder, using the word "decimate" where they mean annihilate, massacre, or obliterate, listening to Nickelback... All of these things still happen, even though we all know how wrong they are. Consider this an official warning: If you, the Beer professional, continue to use the noun "tap" in  my presence, I will do my best to berate and belittle you, in the presence of your peers and underlings.      For you non-professionals and Newbies, I can sense the confusion and shock as it falls across your faces. How does this little, utilitarian word envoke such white-hot rage in the heart of an otherwise kind person?  The thing is, some...

This may end up being controversial. But this is not a discussion of Art and style, this is a discussion about putting beer in a glass, rather than in a drain. Something I was taught to do, fairly early on, in this business, was to watch bartenders pour beer. I have done this thousands of times. How many do you think actually do it correctly?      Fewer than 30%, for the most part. The most common mistakes are as follows 1. Touching the faucet to the glass and/or the beer. The faucet and the glass should never make physical contact. Nor should the tip of your faucet ever be submersed in beer or foam. The main reason for this is because after you pour your beer, the residual from that core is exposed to the air . Bacteria and yeast begin to Blue. Flies like to land on that residual beer. Then after an hour you dip that into somebody else's beverage.   2. Opening the faucet and then without a glass underneath it. You've all seen this. Someone opens the faucet and the...

   There are certain... Personalities... that we come across, and have to deal with,  while working within the restaurant, bar, and hospitality industries. I find that there are about 4 main types but I would classify as our nemesis', or at the very least, our frenemies. These are the people that make our lives difficult, day after day. However, these are also the people who keep us employed, as they continue to ignore our advice, and our warnings, resulting in ever larger invoices.      Today I will introduce you to the first, whom I have named Gui(Ghee).  If you are unfamiliar with this French origin nickname, it is the short form of Guillaume. If you live in the Southern United States, you might be familiar with the Spanish version, Guillermo. I imagine there are many other derivatives, but the name is not actually important. You may call this guy whatever you like. I don't wish to be gender biased here, but in my personal experience, this pers...

This is a True story.  You will notice that I do not name the business, nor the town in which it is located. I do this to protect innocent parties. Crappy businesses often have employees, that either have nowhere else to go, or who are bullied into keeping their mouths shut. Furthermore, one or more of the businesses involved may have changed hands by the time I write this story. It would be completely unfair to disparage the new operator, without first seeing if they have made any changes. Usually they have.      In today's tale, I shall tell  of the Horror of the Five Keg Series.       I believe it was late Spring, when I was dispatched to a "Hotel", in a mid-sized city in Southern Ontario, on behalf of a local Craft Brewery. Like many cities of this size, in Ontario, it is fairly isolated. It has one or two smaller satellite cities, but for the most part, is surrounded by farmland or wilderness.  The city is an older one, founded as a...

  These are the rules that I follow, to guide the way in which I do this job. They have served me well. They have, and will continue to evolve. It may not even be a complete list, because after a while, some of the things we do are instinctual, and don't enter consciousness. I will try to revisit this list twice a year, and if I think of an addition or a tweak, I will put it in as soon as it comes to mind. I hope they serve you half as well as they have served me. 1. Always specify equipment capable of delivering 125% of Armageddon-level demand. Pretend St. Patrick's Day falls on Halloween, durring game 7 of a Stanly Cup final between the Leafs and the Penguins.  2. Whenever possible, pull two extra lines. 3. When estimating run lengths, labor hours,  or BTUs, Round up.  4. Drip trays are for drips, not dumps, pours, or send-backs. Only drips. Otherwise it would be called a pour tray.  5. When you are told over the phone that "the tap" is broken, it is never the...