DAN B's LAWS FOR DRAUGHT BEER TECHNICIANS

  These are the rules that I follow, to guide the way in which I do this job. They have served me well. They have, and will continue to evolve. It may not even be a complete list, because after a while, some of the things we do are instinctual, and don't enter consciousness. I will try to revisit this list twice a year, and if I think of an addition or a tweak, I will put it in as soon as it comes to mind. I hope they serve you half as well as they have served me.

1. Always specify equipment capable of delivering 125% of Armageddon-level demand. Pretend St. Patrick's Day falls on Halloween, durring game 7 of a Stanly Cup final between the Leafs and the Penguins. 
2. Whenever possible, pull two extra lines. 3. When estimating run lengths, labor hours,  or BTUs, Round up. 
4. Drip trays are for drips, not dumps, pours, or send-backs. Only drips. Otherwise it would be called a pour tray. 
5. When you are told over the phone that "the tap" is broken, it is never the thing, that you think of, as "the tap". Always ask what they are calling, "the tap".
6. Never trust a temperature readout. Always temp the glycol in the bath, and some beer, taken directly from a keg. 
6. Measure three times, and have someone check your work. Bar tops are expensive. 
7. Never, ever, do side work. You will lose your job, your business, your insurance, and/or your reputation.
8. If you are recommending something that you feel strongly about, like a safety device, or a preemptive repair, make the client sign the refusal.
9. Never, ever, cut stone unless you installed it, or are willing to replace it.
10. If it is dangerous, or illegal, either refuse to touch it, or disable it.  No matter which, document it, and report it. Remember, the last person to touch it, owns it.  
11. Never refer to gas equipment as Air lines or Air distributors/manifolds. We do not put air into kegs. They are gas lines. And even if they do carry air, to drive pumps, or some such, air is still a blend of  gases. 
12. Prepare a legally binding, General Waiver of Liability, and keep it in your vehicle. 
13. When writing service call invoices, write a novel.  Well written, factual, and detailed invoices are rarely disputed. When they are, you have a lot more to stand on then "Pump bad. Replaced pump and motor."
14. Record or take notes on all service call communications. Include time, date, Business name, location, as well as name and title of caller.
15. Take pictures, with time stamp and geo-tag.  Email or MMS these to the office, with notes, ASAP. 
16. Don't be afraid to fire a customer or pad your labour when you suspect or know a customer to be ...challenging and spirited. Many companies do this for exceptionally difficult project managers. 
17. Know when to say no, or ask for help. Nobody knows everything. Nobody can do everything. Have someone to lean on that you trust, and be honest. 
18.If it is metal, and is going to touch or carry beer on the way to the glass, it should be 300 series Stainless Steel.
19.Don't forget to enjoy yourself. Our job is awesome.

Cheers

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