Draught Is My Craft: Troubleshooting Life from the Draught Technicians Perspective

This is a True story.  You will notice that I do not name the business, nor the town in which it is located. I do this to protect innocent parties. Crappy businesses often have employees, that either have nowhere else to go, or who are bullied into keeping their mouths shut. Furthermore, one or more of the businesses involved may have changed hands by the time I write this story. It would be completely unfair to disparage the new operator, without first seeing if they have made any changes. Usually they have.      In today's tale, I shall tell  of the Horror of the Five Keg Series.       I believe it was late Spring, when I was dispatched to a "Hotel", in a mid-sized city in Southern Ontario, on behalf of a local Craft Brewery. Like many cities of this size, in Ontario, it is fairly isolated. It has one or two smaller satellite cities, but for the most part, is surrounded by farmland or wilderness.  The city is an older one, founded as a...

  These are the rules that I follow, to guide the way in which I do this job. They have served me well. They have, and will continue to evolve. It may not even be a complete list, because after a while, some of the things we do are instinctual, and don't enter consciousness. I will try to revisit this list twice a year, and if I think of an addition or a tweak, I will put it in as soon as it comes to mind. I hope they serve you half as well as they have served me. 1. Always specify equipment capable of delivering 125% of Armageddon-level demand. Pretend St. Patrick's Day falls on Halloween, durring game 7 of a Stanly Cup final between the Leafs and the Penguins.  2. Whenever possible, pull two extra lines. 3. When estimating run lengths, labor hours,  or BTUs, Round up.  4. Drip trays are for drips, not dumps, pours, or send-backs. Only drips. Otherwise it would be called a pour tray.  5. When you are told over the phone that "the tap" is broken, it is never the...

    For those of you who may live in the UK or Australia, growler has a different meaning here, in North America. In craft beer terms, a growler is a glass jug, usually 1/2 a gallon or 2L in volume, designed to be a reusable container, for the purchase of draft beer at your local brew pub. It is considered, by many, the best way to purchase fresh beer.      For those of you in North America, who don't understand why our Australian and British friends are snickering right now, do an internet search on British and Australian slang, regarding the word growler.      Devices like the Pegas, as well as other devices for counter pressure filling, and even faucet filling, prescribe to the notion but it is best to purge a growler with pure CO2 before filling it. The reasoning is that we don't want the beer to mingle with oxygen, as it will shorten the shelf life, and negatively affect the flavor. The science is sound, and they have been employing this meth...