Draught Is My Craft: Troubleshooting Life from the Draught Technicians Perspective

Our's is a living language, obviously. It grows, bends, and flexes. We gain words and lose them. Some are retired. Some are disdained and mocked, falsely labeled and unfairly maligned as improper or incorrect. And then, we have punctuation; which is equally used, misused, over-used or used when unnecessary, out of habit.  One of the greatest offenders is the oft misunderstood apostrophe.   This highbrowed Devil, possessor of all things, well...Im done wasting it where it is no longer needed. Separation or combination of the possessive and the plural is a worthy use, indeed.  However, I feel it is wasted in a few areas, ignored in one specific instance, and forgotten where it might be of great utility.  You, keen observer that you are, may already have noticed the uses of this little beastie, which I no longer wish to indulge.  I find that the most common places, wherein I see and use the apostrophe are in the words "don't", "won't" and "I'm...

      First, if you caught the joke in the title, 2 points.  If not, find your weird friend that is into Puns and Acronyms.  They will be happy to mansplain it. And yes, it was a conscientious decision to change the last word  to Silly, because the other S-word is one I am loath to use toward any human, until they have gone out of their way to earn it.  The use of the word Stupid, when aimed at another human, is simply evil.  The amount of damage it does to society, especially to children, is unfathomable, so should it appear in my writing, please understand that I equate it, emotionally, to racial and sexist slurs.  If I use it, I intend to hurt the target.      Since I blogged on Beer Gas, several people have asked something to the effect of,"If not Beer Gas, what should I do?       If you are coming across this post without prior knowledge of Long Draw dispense methods, the broad gist is this: To push bee...

  My brother, Michael, is a person of immense heart.   I will take some care to continue to say “is”, as opposed to was.  I know and accept that his body has ceased to be the vessel of his spirit, but everything that he is, and loves, and wishes to protect is very much alive.  This includes his chosen and found family, which happens to include much of his blood family.  This includes his wife, Michelle.  Despite recent struggles and conflict, which so many adult relationships face over time, he never expressed anything other than esteem, respect, a deep and abiding gratitude, and deep love for the woman who gave him many gifts.  Especially those of his children, Cole and Damien.  I was going to mention his Work, Church and his SCA family, but you are all included in the Chosen family.  With Mike, if you let him love you, he loves you.  And he always loves you.  He might get angry with you, or feel deeply hurt by you.  He m...

He had just turned 51.   He has 2 beautiful children.   He had recently begun to reconcile his faith after having once been deeply wounded by a church. He passed suddenly, while doing something he loved, surrounded by people who loved him. We spoke not long ago, and we said I love you.  We were in a good place.   Too soon.  Ouch.   I want to hug our Mom, and Sister, and Brother in Law, and all the Kids, and sob and curse and laugh and cry.  2500 miles away and broke, I might as well be on the moon. I love him.  I want him back.   To my friends in America, and those who loved Mike, tell your government, and your bosses, and your corporate Masters that healthcare should be a right, not a privilege, or a bargaining chip, or a source of financial ruin.  The healthcare I am privileged to enjoy in Ontario Canada is better than any I ever had in the U.S., except, barely, in the Marine Corps.  It is better, on avera...

Hello folks, BTW. SPOILER ALERT!!!!!       I'm not going to give anything away about the show, plot-wise,but I will be shattering a major premise, which made it impossible for me to continue to suspend disbelief. I will also speak on the Movie, The Martian, which does speak to major plot points, but i will provide you a warning there, first, and visual clues, which will help you skip that portion of the piece. (It's a piece of something, anyways.)      I actually began writing this in Oct of '23, but in support of the SAG/AFTRA strike, I will have delayed the release, since it speaks to television and Movie scripts, i will support my fellow writers, and sit on this a bit. Now, this is your last chance to continue to enjoy The Walking Dead. I will not take offense if you stop reading, because there is sooo much to love.        I began watching The Walking Dead in April of 2013, while I was staying with some Cousins.  I had just...

     A week or two ago, a Customer reached out to me with a product inquiry, about a CO2 gas regulator.  They wanted to know how much gas it could move.  This is, in my opinion, a pretty simple, fundamental question about any commercial-grade, Mechanical device: what sort of performance can I get out of this item?  Will it do what I need it to do?       Most technical questions are not new.  Someone has already done the math and/or the science.  Someone has the data.  Someone engineered the device to perform to a particular set of parameters[we hope].  I thought " I should just call the manufacturer, and ask.  My counterpart there will surely be able to rattle this off, by heart, or have the data readily at hand."   Buckle up.  I thought wrong, on several levels.     First, this manufacturer was somewhat recently acquired by a large conglomerate.  The informational insert, that came wit...

I came across a headline today on MSNBC/CNBC which read:  A second wave of Russians is fleeing Putin's regime. I would have thought that a Copy Editor might Suggest that: A second wave of Russians are fleeing Putin's regime.   or .... A second wave of Russians have begun  fleeing Putin's regime. Or if the confusion is over the wave or the Russians are the object, we can then make it extra tidy:  A second wave of Russians flees Putin's regime. Or old school: A second wave of Russians now  fleeing Putin's regime!  Besides, the word "Now" pops, and entices a sense of urgency.      I couldn't resist.  While I love all aspects of our Bastard language, including slang and dialect, I have to draw the line somewhere.  For me, written media, Ad Copy, and especially News Copy, should all reflect the most basic adherence to grammar.  Below, is a paste of the comment I made, via the contact portal at CNBC.com.  Let's see if...

     I have been asking the same question of beverage gas providers, for more than 10 years. I am still struggling to get a concrete answer.  The question is"How do you ensure that the Nitrogen and CO2 in a Mixed Gas Cylinder, dispense in the proper mix, when these Gasses behave so differently?"  The answers I have received, over the years, have varied widely, and inevitably, when I challenge them, or request demonstrated proof, I am ghosted....every time.        Before I delve too deeply into this Fucking Quagmire of an issue: If you are not a Draught/Draft Beer Pro, or are relatively new to Beer, you should read  INTRO TO BEER CARBONATION   before proceeding with this article. You might be able to follow most of it, without reading the article, but knowing why people wish to use beer gas, is pretty crucial. The short answer is, sometimes you need to augment pressure, but if you use pure CO2, it causes both quality and pourin...

        We don't list Carbon Dioxide [CO2] as an ingredient in our beer, but one could argue that we should.  The primary reason we don't, is because CO2 occurs in Beer, as a natural by-product of the brewing process.  The reason that some of us feel it should be included, is because modern brewing, kegging, and packaging methods cause carbonation loss.  The lost CO2 is forcibly reintroduced, during the finishing process of the beer.  If the beer is served from a keg, CO2 is also introduced, again, during dispense.  Finally, in the case of Nitrogenous beers such as Guinness, Boddington's, Old Speckled Hen, and numerous others, we also add Nitrogen gas, as way to lighten the mouth feel of these Low Carbonation Brews.  The reason I would advocate for listing gasses as ingredients, is to also show customers that only 1 or 2 gasses are supposed to be there, and lends credibility to quality advocates.  These Gasses effect flavour and pr...

          I hate the word "tap." And I get it; people aren't going to change. It's the word they have always used. That does not mean that I am going to stop fighting. Just because people keep doing it, doesn't make it okay. Examples: racism, spousal abuse, child abuse, slavery, sex trafficking, murder, using the word "decimate" where they mean annihilate, massacre, or obliterate, listening to Nickelback... All of these things still happen, even though we all know how wrong they are. Consider this an official warning: If you, the Beer professional, continue to use the noun "tap" in  my presence, I will do my best to berate and belittle you, in the presence of your peers and underlings.      For you non-professionals and Newbies, I can sense the confusion and shock as it falls across your faces. How does this little, utilitarian word envoke such white-hot rage in the heart of an otherwise kind person?  The thing is, some...

This may end up being controversial. But this is not a discussion of Art and style, this is a discussion about putting beer in a glass, rather than in a drain. Something I was taught to do, fairly early on, in this business, was to watch bartenders pour beer. I have done this thousands of times. How many do you think actually do it correctly?      Fewer than 30%, for the most part. The most common mistakes are as follows 1. Touching the faucet to the glass and/or the beer. The faucet and the glass should never make physical contact. Nor should the tip of your faucet ever be submersed in beer or foam. The main reason for this is because after you pour your beer, the residual from that core is exposed to the air . Bacteria and yeast begin to Blue. Flies like to land on that residual beer. Then after an hour you dip that into somebody else's beverage.   2. Opening the faucet and then without a glass underneath it. You've all seen this. Someone opens the faucet and the...